BlueLight439

Warning. Probably almost nobody noticed, but some random person on wikia/fandom.com is impersonating me. He is lying, I am not him or his brother, and I was the one who 'recommended' Six, Salt Lamp and some other characters to this show years ago. 1. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/382913928088518657/1187753361676697682/image.png 2. https://battlefordreamisland.fandom.com/wiki/User:Bluelight432 <- This is NOT me. "my profile in deviantart that my brother is using" no, I am not his brother, my older sister is my only sibling, I didn't even know this person existed until I found out he is impersonating me. https://community.fandom.com/wiki/User:BlueLight439 <- This is my actual wikia/fandom.com account and my only account on that website, anyone else you'd see on that website who is claiming to be me IS NOT me. The Pixiv account his profile shows is mine, that one is legit and not an impersonator. He is falsely claiming my deviantart and Pixiv accounts are his, those are me, not him or his brother. I don't know if he is impersonating me on any other websites than wikia/fandom.com, but I noticed this. Man, I hope he or anyone else doesn't try starting some more bad shit with me. Yes, it's true that I 'recommended' Six, Salt Lamp and some other characters, but I left that show's fandom years ago, and I seriously want to stay away from that fandom, I don't want to be involved with anything related to that fandom, please leave me alone and let me be. To whoever this is, congratz, you've been noticed by the person you want to be so badly, but not in a good way, now please stop impersonating me and acting like we are siblings, you're really bothering me so please just stop doing this, get a life and just be yourself. I don't know if anyone else is impersonating me or if he or anyone else is doing some other weird bad stuff without my consent behind my back, but I sure hope there is nothing else yucky going on... Please let me know if you somehow find out there is someone doing yucky stuff related to me. If anyone cares enough about other updates. Yeah yeah, I am still active here, I just haven't been drawing fanart much and I still don't feel like uploading things that aren't fanart here (drawings of my characters, photos, and more...) so like usual, I haven't been posting much, but I will when I make more fanart. I'm just still not that interested in drawing fanart, and don't have much fanart ideas either. And I sadly still rarely draw anything in general, lack of ideas and motivation. Other than art stuff, I'm doing much better than I did in the past. I don't want to jinx it or anything but currently I'm actually not that miserable or depressed. Maybe it's just a temporary winter time happiness, I don't know, but my life hasn't been that painful even if there still have been some filthy inconveniences, some good things happened and there are things that have positive effects on me. Edit 27.12.2023= Yeah, the impersonator's account got globally blocked, cool. And nevermind about what I said about doing much better.

Hello... this art of mine

was featured in the video of Ocean Bridge - Destiny. The song is a LGBT positive message. I wanted to post about it here since I think this musical project deserves more attention and that seeing the video cheered me up a tiny bit when I was miserable (I'm still miserable). And if anyone cares, sorry about not posting much. I post only fanart on DA and I've been pretty uninterested in drawing fanart, I've been more interested in drawing stuff related to my own characters. Don't get the wrong idea, I still like those countless cartoons and games, but yeah. It's not just that either, I also don't make art in general that much/often due to loss of passion, not feeling like doing it, demotivation and lack of ideas. Boo... It would be nice if that changed. I will still post if or when I make more fanart though. And I'm still very proud of a lot of the stuff I posted here. I'd like it if I made a good number of more cool art in 2023, both fanart stuff and original stuff... Also I'm really not doing well. I got a single gift on Christmas, and it was my neck breaking. No, that's not a joke or a methapor. I don't fully know or understand why it happened, it was kind of random, I guess I stretched and it suddenly got bad... That day was pretty dull and lonely, but I also had to deal with my neck hurting and feeling uncomfortable all day. My head too sometimes. I talked to a friend for a bit, which was a positive of that day though. My neck feels better now, it was quite bad before, but it's still not fully well, it's still uncomfortable a bit. I don't want to live with a neck like this and the possibility of the damage being permanent worries and saddens me. I already have a pretty unpleasant life, I don't want this to deal with as well... Please.... I guess I a bit overshared stuff and went off track, but I don't know... Anyway yeah, it was nice seeing that video when I was feeling pretty down due to how crappy my life is.. thanks again for including my work and letting me be a part of this nice project. edit 9.01.2023; My neck is fine now. I think.

I've legit lost passion. I don't even enjoy drawing that much anymore. I have got some nice art done this year (not just those stuff I posted on deviantart, I post only fanart here and I've been more interested in making stuff related to my own characters, and I'm honestly not that interested in drawing fanart anymore (I still like those countless cartoons and games but yeah)), I used to work on/make art kind of rarely but I've started being more productive last June. But... I don't even enjoy making art that much. It hurts to work on art, it is tiring and painful mentally, I pressure myself into doing it instead of fully naturally doing it. Besides, everytime I work on an art, I do it just to have made something, get something done or/and to fight my misery and my life's crappiness. I don't like that. I usually like what I've made, it does make me feel positive things. That's a nice thing. But so what? I pressured myself to make art, I went through an uncomfortable production process, I liked what I've made, what else is there for me? Nothing. Fucking nothing. It doesn't fix anything. It doesn't make anything better. It doesn't bring me much, aside from the artwork itself. I don't know what to do, and there isn't even much that I can do. Just going to keep pressuring myself to work on art on some days while living a miserable life I guess. (My life's crappiness has nothing to do with this art issue but I hope that was obvious.) That seems better than just not doing anything... I don't vent on deviantart usually but maybe this can give people more insight if anyone even still cares. I also don't get art ideas much, especially when it comes to fanart, my mind is so empty about ideas, but it is an uncomfortable process when I draw something too, and I don't even want to work on any art, and it is a null 'achievement' even if I like the result. Hell, I have started working on something now, I did a tiny bit of work and didn't finish it yet, but working on it felt pretty unpleasant so I came to write this. I'm not leaving deviantart, don't get the wrong idea, I said that I will never leave deviantart more than once. I will always upload more fanart here when I make more fanart. That will never change until I literally die or the website shuts down.

Does anyone even still care about this account? I still get favs sometimes but it feels like nobody does anymore. I didn't leave DA, I never will, I just haven't been posting much because I haven't been drawing fanart much... I haven't been drawing that often in general (I just don't feel like drawing most of the time sadly...) and whenever I felt like drawing I mainly drew my characters instead and it's still that way, and I prefer not posting those on DA. If or when I make more fanart I will definitely post them on DA though. I will forever cherish all those good times I had in DA so many years ago, when DA was dA... Thank you DA. And I'm truly very very very sorry for all the bad things and stupid things I did years ago... I hate that I ever did those things and I hate that I ever was like that... But I'd say I became a fine person in 2020. (I wasn't that bad in 2019 either (especially compared to the years before it) but still embarrassingly stupid and nasty to some extent.) Not saying I'm perfect now but yeah. (I'm not perfect, definitely.) I'm definitely not that gross shit I was in the past, that's not me, at all. I've apologised about the past so many times already but eh here I am doing it again...the remorse and shame is just too much even if I don't beat myself up over the past much anymore... I'm grateful that my friends see me as a good person. Thanks... Edit; Just because I did some rash stuff around someone who traumatised me doesn't mean I'm a gross person. 1. Everything that person did to me at that time, a super super super rough and awful time, were worse than the stuff I said this year. And they have hurt me so so so much more than I ever hurt them. 2. Maybe one day I will be mature enough to not get like that under big emotional distress caused by someone who hurt me so much, but this year I sadly didn't have the mental capacity to act better. Nobody is perfect, I don't think it makes me bad or not good enough. 3. Again, I'm fucking traumatised. Also random but here are my Steam and volt.fm profiles. https://volt.fm/user/qxhhxgd4dofjwogn https://steamcommunity.com/id/Johncat49/ (Please tell me who you are if you want to add me.)

Today is my birthday and I'm thinking about some stuff that I never thought about in my other birthdays. I'm thinking about the fact that I gained a significant internet presence in 2012 (I was 11), later created this account in 2015 (I was 14), and now it being 2022 (I am 21). I was 11 years old when some...stuff happened, I was 14 years old when I created this account and now I turned 21. Well...it's already January 6 (my birthday) in my timezone, so yes. It has been such a long time, wow. I've been here for so long... I won't talk much about my life and my thoughts and feelings about this but I think this is interesting so I wanted to talk and post about it this way, as a tiny portion. Unrelated extra part: I'd appreciate it if someone helped me about this by telling me necessary and/or helpful information, thanks.